Thursday, February 28, 2013

More Guyotat. Always.

"...Rid of depression, I can finally look at the world and forget myself. The scene that shall become The Book stretches to the dimensions of History. To flee Western geography. I write outside, on until the onset of the winter chills, traveling back through humanity's past as the weather grows colder. As the sky and earth are transformed above my head and below my feet. At the time, I believe that to work outside is to deflect the depression. I work under a Sun that does not move and on a teetering, spinning Earth, I feel it--that is what I want to impart, in the language of what is becoming a book, the feeling of that rotation. I feel it strongly, I often see it in dreams as well: the curvature of the Earth, because of how I am placed, and where, I see the Earth im imaginary places as wel, a kind of hyperborea hailing from above Scandinavia, infinite, blue, scintillating, endless archipelagos, endless planet, endless world; extraterrestrial spaces are enclosed within the space of the Earth itself. In these visions, I see the curvature of the Earth at the end of a tilled field: the furrows drawn by Bruegel's sower follow the curvature , not of the hill, but of the earth.

When writing, I settle into the central axis of the Earth, my existence, as a humble plowman of language, is grafted onto the axis of that movement, which is more grandiose than human movement alone: the movement of the planet: the rotation of the planet, with its sun and stars: and in this way to elude even the feeling of death. 

To return to the horde, to return to humanity, to leave this gravitation, to return to this human atmosphere, dangerous. I know very well that depression can swoop down on me again, and this time keep me longer. 

By moving my campsite around, I change my ground; I change my historical direction. In the work at hand, I mine the very ground on which I settle. I walk, I wander with my friends, I imagine, in the ruins... Those ruins, upon my return, I restore them on the page, I transform the ruins of the Roman villa into a Roman villa. 

Caught between that infinite, "above," and this research of origins "below" that tas tormented me since childhood: objects, buildings, ideas; between two infinites to which others are adjoined..."

No comments: