Sunday, July 20, 2014

E N D G A M E


In my house.

One day you'll be blind like me. You'll be sitting here, a speck in the void, in the dark, forever, like me.

One day you'll say to yourself, I'm tired, I'll sit down, and you'll go and sit down. Then you'll say, I'm hungry, I'll get up and get something to eat. But you won't get up. You'll say, I shouldn't have sat down, but since I have I'll sit on a little longer, then I'll get up and get something to eat. But you won't get up and you won't get anything to eat.

You'll look at the wall a while, then you'll say, I'll close my eyes, perhaps have a little sleep, after that I'll feel better, and you'll close them. And when you open them again there'll be no wall any more.

Infinite emptiness will be all around you, all the resurrected dead of all the ages wouldn't fill it, and there you'll be like a little bit of grit in the middle of the steppe.

Yes, one day you'll know what it is, you'll be like me, except that you won't have anyone with you, because you won't have had pity on anyone and because there won't be anyone left to have pity on you.

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You prayed—
(He corrects himself.)
You CRIED for night; it comes—
(He corrects himself.)
It FALLS: now cry in darkness.
(He repeats, chanting.)

You cried for night; it falls: now cry in darkness.

Nicely put, that.

And now?

Moments for nothing, now as always, time was never and time is over, reckoning closed and story ended.

If he could have his child with him...

It was the moment I was waiting for.

You don't want to abandon him? You want him to bloom while you are withering? Be there to solace your last million last moments?

He doesn't realize, all he knows is hunger, and cold, and death to crown it all. But you! You ought to know what the earth is like, nowadays. Oh I put him before his responsibilities!

Well, there we are, there I am, that's enough.

Yes, truly!

Good.

Father!

Father!

Good.

We're coming.

And to end up with?

Discard.

With my compliments.

Since that's the way we're playing it...

let's play it that way...

and speak no more about it...

Speak no more.

You

 remain.

He covers his face with handkerchief, lowers his arms to armrests, remains motionless.


1 comment:

9 said...

Just about right yeah. A cloak, a dry gnaw-bone, and a grin for the boy with the blush on his cheeks.