Saturday, February 27, 2016


Out the window two white boys hydrogen peroxide hair halos on the asphalt where cars exit they're squatting, tapping each other's heads, bobbing, red shirt and yellow shirt, so low and tiny. Sun glare washing out their white skin makes them mimic gasoline mirage. Because I can barely make them out believe they must be invisible to anyone else. I was worried now indifferent, do I care if they're casualties.

DR.PHIL & the radio on at the same time inside. Captioning. She's to my left sucking on an ATOMIC FIRE BALL wrapper, pushing it up into the lip onto the teeth, upper gum line, sucking, spit in the plastic, it is not noiseless. Well up with some kind of tenderness for her this is gross but I'm feeling a gaping/staring expanding inside of me, for her, wondering 'Are you deficient?' It goes on. There must be no more taste but goes on.


Everyone is trying to look away from her. Staring catching contact and averting. Do you know what it's like when someone's mouth is on something and they lock eyes with you? More boys than girls know what this is. Full grown woman sucking down on candy wrapper. What's wrong with you.


Trying to remember what I need for that floor scrub. Guy walks in but doesn't call me for my car. Doesn't call anyone. I mistakenly put my hand in his palm for a shake when he held it out for my keys. Felt myself so red when he told me,
I think it was a quart of fresh rainwater, lime, rose water, bay leaves (banana leaves?) what is it. Filling a bucket with superstition to get protected later.


'How are you deficient?'


'How is your body deficient?
Why do you need to suck that down?'


'What does your body need?'


'Good sugar?'

In my head I keep hearing "100% FUN."



Anonymous said...

I keep telling myself not to fear the silence..and it's not fear anymore its a sinking feeling, a drop, where is the peak? my graph is all recession / depression in terms of shape, but I feel okay, waiting for the storm to come back is oddly comforting, like the silence is becoming. i'm gonna go read this again.

Anonymous said...

come on you little slut be honest your stoned when you write everything

Millineries said...

This little slut was sober, might've flowed better if I was stoned.

casey said...

anonymous v. platform is too polar, too binary--i hope this person stops being rude, it hurts a bit, even from far away!

Millineries said...

I like the word slut, it's okay.

Anonymous said...

awesome blog, we were livejournal friends way back in the day & i'm glad you have kept your blog up all this time!