"Well disciplined like a corpse."
When can I earn the habit--as in--Ursuline [Carmelite?] headgear. Heavy plastic, yellow, faith raincoat. I don't care what they do to me. If they can get desire out of me--eremitic for the rest of daze.
"We are not able to think something on our own as if it came from us."
"Darts foreseen make lighter wounds."
"You have shown your people hard things; you have given us the wine of compunction to drink."
Watch her crouching in a hopeful, flattering position on the floor, suggesting a supplication [AT me] in a way that disgusts me. Eyebrows forming expression ov expectation that makes me want to throw her out. Want to help her tho, will help her tho. Something cheap like casal garcia makes it hard to keep track of hands, difficult to put my body above in any aim at strength. Talk in little brackets, between plantings of the mouth:
'You are meant to be heated. Generate it in. Trapped heat that'll feel good for you. Something seeps out has to be dug gentle. Did not go well if not.'
They don't know what to do with it. Stay quiet. Don't mess.
Then her body like a little model of Sagrat Cor, girl in form of the holy structure, perfect, a display, pointed, is this skin made from stone of Montjuïc?, 3 apses--1. 2. shoulders and 3. center point where clavicles threaten to touch,
Can I put the pinky on the second the body fell into pattern of overwhelming & momentary compassion, lasting cruelty, reluctant & necessary-to-their-continued-pleasure instructional evening, regular aversion to attachment.
ON THE HOTLINE:
"I lay down, pull my knee to my chest and jerk off at the same time. I switch legs. Stretching for the day."
"Have you ever been so cold when you put your fingers inside your pussy it wasn't warm but felt like ice?"
I need the feeling of a large bag full of water on top of my body.
I want to put it on another body too.