Thursday, October 27, 2016


this was a new low in my heart.

so much is gonna happen in 5 years, in mine. i could die but i could also make it. crawling around. he is inspiring me. he says he wants to live to be 130 in response to my saying it seems more appealing, dying young. he said it months ago. i can't stop thinking of it since. change mind. i want to live to be 130 too. i do. to see how far we get into space. i want them to find life. can i see. to see how bad and good it gets. so much is gonna happen in 5 years.

i just overheard
"i can't get her to stop crying. i tried to close her mouth for her."

keep eyes set so far up in your head you are more often than not looking to God. or keep your eyes set so far down in your head you are more often than not looking to God. look where you think God is most visible for you. we can never escape the gaze of God but we can revert our own gazes from God. do not do it. i felt like most of them missed the meaning of wise blood. to stay with God.  i wish that i had eyes like the tits of diana of the ephesians. eyes instead of tits. that line my torso, ribs, back. to watch God at all angles. but they would all close together in sleep, to watch God on the inside. God has a plan for me. God has a plan for you. trust in God's plan. to live until we die.

a man crosses the street in a bright orange shirt. tic tac. very dirty. tucked into his light jeans. big gloves. in the sun light.

in a state of penitence, do you work with a higher degree of efficacy & grace?

for my birthday i want what little i deserve.

only 1--

a cilice.

a hair-shirt.

frayed rope.



Der heimatlose Wanderer
Die letzte Träne eines Toten
Klage eines jungen Mädchens
Das verrückte Lachen

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